Red R. Neck -- FOUND

It recently came to light that a certain sage by the name of Red R. Neck, a frequent contributor to the now defunct publication The West Virginia Wrestler, might still be alive and well somewhere in the Mountain State.

As it turns out, Coach Archer was the editor of the aforementioned publication and kind of the Clark Kent for Red. Thanks to some sleuthing on the part of Coach Archer, Red R. Neck has emerged from his literary sabbatical and offers up his first commentary in quite some number of years.

Red is WW2 veteran and lives somewhere in West Virginia with his wife of 49 years, He has cattle, goats and pigs along with several, dogs on his 243 acre farm. He spends most of his time reading Classic Illustrated Comic Books and farming. Well, that's enough about Red; let's hear what he has to say.

The Red Neck
by Red R. Neck

Yes, I am alive and I have survived the Clinton era. He could get in trouble in a dark room by himself. Somebody should tell these guys if you are going get in trouble with young women in the White House at least make sure she will look good on TV when they get caught.

Well it has been a long time since I wrote anything down for people to read. I only get a weekly paper out here, if the family doesn't take it to the outhouse before I can read it. I guess the latest personal news is my son tried to get me to go to Hawaii with him. I told him I wasn't going to any foreign country with every one trying to blow Americans up all over the world but he said he would pay my way. I never turned down free, except when a neighbor farmer offered the worst looking dog I ever saw to breed my dog.

I asked him when the ship was leaving and he said, "We are flying." Now, unless he is superman and can fly with me on his back I knew we were going to have a problem. As you would expect, I couldn't get to the plane before the trouble began.

First, the guy told me they wanted me to take my boots off. I hadn't even been to K-Mart and I wasn't even sure my socks were ready for inspection. The real trouble started when I whipped my knife out and it went through some kind of time machine deal. The man told me he was taking my knife. I asked him if he wanted his butt kicked over a 40 year old knife, or did he want to change his mind? He asked me if I had any other weapons or bombs on me. I told him no on the bombs, but I reached down to my belt and let him get a look at "Old Betsy." I thought the boy was going to fall over. He said "what in the heck are you doing and where are you going?" I said, "if you think I am going to a place with a bunch of foreigners and not be armed, you need to think again."

Things were not going very well for the trip, so I told my son to get a refund for the ticket. I was only out the money it cost me to wash the truck to go to

Quotes to live by...

The worst dog I ever Had was better than any person I ever met.

Most of the time a man finds himself in a hole, he helped dig it.

If a man don't grow nothing, or shoot nothing, he ain't nothing.

Good night Sam, where ever you are.

Red R. Neck

Return to the WV-Mat front page